Teaching, Promoting, Cheering UX and SEO Since 2002

Secret Coded Keyword Messages in My Traffic Data

Nearly every day I look at the keywords and phrases used to find this blog. Without fail, it’s an exercise in hilarity, and not just because the top referral continues to be “sex goddess”. That, in and of itself, is insane and entirely due to Michael Gray and his playful ranking help.

Some days I think someone is trying to send me secret messages.

For example, I’m convinced someone has issues with me because nearly every day the phrase “I love you I hate you” brings someone to this blog.

MSN should pay me for the daily referrals I send them for Ms. Dewey. Nobody uses her for search, do they?

And why don’t people just type in Ms Dewey and go to the search engine? Why read what I wrote about it in 2006? Sure, I was obsessed and all…

Sometimes I really, really don’t get how this blog comes up for certain phrases and I actually get traffic for the most absurd topics. Things like:

“women popping ballons naked” – If you found my blog with this, you’re scaring me. Just want you to know that.

“forum for forum owners” – I was happy to see I’m not the only looking for one.

“canceled flights from Chicago” – I get these search phrases several times a week. Anything I can do to help the travel industry and all. Not.

“why do women post nude photos on internet” – You’re asking me???

“you are such an inspiration” – Awww, shucks. Thanks!

“porn production” - Ok. I get the theme. I don’t get why you’re all coming here, however. I retired years ago.

tree usability” – New term?

“sexy hefty women” – Okay. Who’s spying on me?

“baseball pants” - Every day I get some baseball traffic because of this post. I sell a lot of usability reports this way. Not.

“how to get ms dewy to strip” – Please refer to my post about her stripping for my husband above.

“abandoned astronaut” – These words led to my blog twice. Guess they brought a friend.

“hot nerd women” , “sexy nerds” (or variations with the word “nerd” in it) – For the record, in high school, I was one of the cool kids.

I got to wondering that if someone wants to send me secret messages, all they have to do is look up words in my posts and combine them into sentences. Like “cre8pc you sexy nerd I love you” or “hi Kim its ms dewey I’m your lost gorgeous sister” or something silly that will catch my eye.

Or, you could just email me.

But heck. Where’s the fun in that?


  1. January 10, 2008    

    Oh cool!! I just saw a new secret coded message come in.

    “cre8pc you nerd i love you long time”

    Probably from my husband. heh

  2. January 10, 2008    

    *Ninja jumps from sky, but then falls over in laughter*

    That was k*k funny.

    “porn production” – Ok. I get the theme. I don’t get why you’re all coming here, however. I retired years ago.


  3. January 10, 2008    

    I’m glad it’s not just me. Deep down, I realize there’s a fetish site for everything, but what really makes me wonder is why the people click through? Lately, I’ve been getting “peter meyer conspiracy theorist”. Apparently, usability is a conspiracy now.

    My favorite and most troublesome one for the past couple of months, though, is definitely “how many dirty test until you get violated”. One, I’m guessing, or you’re not doing it right.

  4. January 11, 2008    

    One of my top pages continues to be for “chicken noodle soup video” which is even funnier because I wrote the post about using KW trends like Yahoo Buzz to find words that will be popular.

    It’s like some matrix vase breaking cycle

  5. January 11, 2008    

    It’s definitely the funner side of keyword research :) And human nature…why do they keep on reading? It shows how easy it is to manipulate on page content to do your bidding if you want it too :)

  6. January 12, 2008    


    Search nerd that I am, I want to know the bounce rate for “hot nerd women.”

  7. January 13, 2008    

    Very interesting and funny! But I remember when I had to go through the log files or “conversations” of an AI search engine and felt disgusted by what some people were searching for. Thankfully you don’t have to read what people are saying to Ms. Dewey. I can’t or don’t want to imagine.

  8. January 14, 2008    

    For anyone looking for Daryn Kagan—Please have them check out DarynKagan.com–Launched the website in Nov ’06.

    It’s all inspiring news w/no religious or political affiliation.

    Just good stories that make your heart go, “zing!”

    Every story fits the theme, “Show The World What’s Possible!”

    Also, updates on my upcoming book and two documentaries.



  9. January 14, 2008    

    I think (will verify to be sure) that my news on Daryn’s leaving CNN (and my post about missing her) points to Daryn’s web site. I’ve always thought it odd that this blog would get so much traffic for my post on Daryn, when any search for her should have taken them directly to her new web site.

    In any case, Daryn was THE reason I got hooked on CNN and to this day, I still miss her. No one delivered the news like Daryn.

    Daryn’s work and focus on the positive and uplifting, vibrant people, and constant inspiration nourish the soul.

    Thank you Daryn for stopping by. What a joy!

  10. January 16, 2008    

    this one’s funny reflecting the other side of keyword search and other uses of it =)

1 Trackback

  1. Search Engine Land: News About Search Engines & Search Marketing on January 11, 2008 at 1:18 pm

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